A. "Fish reflected on a new low point in his cricketing career as Robbo hilariously farted the Test Match Special theme tune over his head, impressing Keith greatly as Chilts looked on and Barry considered whether to set fire to it with his fag".
B. "The New Kids On The Block reunion tour didn't get off to the best of starts when the tour bus turned up at Westleigh instead of Wemberleigh..."
C. "It is rare indeed to see so many wise monkeys gathered in one place at one time..."
D. "The lads tried to hide their apprehension as the late posting of April's photo meant that the arrival of May was imminent. Not that lunatic again!"
E. "The team looked on in horror as Noursey continued to bowl at the wrong end at Westleigh"
F. "Tonight Matthew, I'm Michael Flatley, da-daaaaa.."
G. "As usual the crowd were unimpressed by Noursey's attempt at topical humour: "I rang the swine flu helpline...but all I got was crackling" - still it took their mind off his bowling..."
H. "In 1972 a crack commando unit was sent to prison by a military court for a crime they didn't commit. These men promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Milton Keynes underground. Today still wanted by the government, they survive as soldiers of fortune.If you have a problem.If no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire...................The Abbey Team! (CUE THEME MUSIC)"
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